Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moores split brings often causes couples to look at their own relationship and how they could minimize the risk of divorce in their own lives. Below are some suggestions to repair past hurts and keep your marriage off the rocks!
Three relationship tips for rebuilding trust:
Individuals can violate the integrity of a relationship in a number of ways. Of course, there is lying and being unfaithful, but keeping harmful secrets, spending money that was agreed to be saved, or revealing private or embarrassing information, can also compromise the health and boundaries of a relationship.
Here are three steps to start rebuilding trust:
1) Accept responsibility. Own up to your mistakes, and do NOT makes excuses or offer explanations for your behavior. Important related discussions about the context of your actions may be better addressed at another time, if at all. Describe what you did wrong. This can be done conveyed face-to-face or in writing.
2) Vow to do better. Commit to not making the same mistake again in the future. Make any necessary changes to ensure you don’t mess up, at least in this way, again. Don’t be deterred by your partner’s skepticism. It will take time to prove you will follow through.
3) Apologize and make restitution. Offer a sincere and heartfelt apology. Ask your partner how you might rectify the problem, and comply, if possible. Make amends “With Interest,” meaning payback more than you took. And hold back on asking for forgiveness. Asking for forgiveness is often self-serving, to make ourselves feel better and shifts the focus off the victim. Forgiveness is a gift, and they will give it when they are ready…not necessarily when we ask for it.
Note: You can freely redistribute this resource, electronically or in print, as long as you leave the author’s contact information intact.
Author & Edited by Dr. Leslie Hamilton, Ph.D., LMFT