Instagram Beauty Pageants | Teen Girls Self-Esteem | Orlando Counselor Tips for Parents

By Published On: April 26th, 20234 min read

From Toddlers and Tiaras to Instagram Beauty Pageants, young girls are throwing themselves onto the merciless stage of judgment, comparisons, criticism and pain.

According to an ABC News report, “Among the hottest activities on social media these days is Instagram’s beauty contests, where young girls go head-to-head in cyber beauty pageants online and on their phones, allowing anyone, even complete strangers, to vote for who is the prettiest”

Self-esteem for adolescent girls is unlike any other generation. So when you compare to teenage girls 30 or 40 years ago, to this millennial generation, it is a very difficult comparison.

Among adolescent girls, negative self-esteem, body dissatisfaction, poor socialization skills, and oversexualization account for a large percentage of diagnosed cases of major depressive disorder.


What is self-esteem?

The American Psychological Association defines self-esteem as a generalized evaluative attitude toward the self that influences both moods and behavior and that exerts a powerful effect on a range of personal and social behaviors.

Unfortunately, the self-esteem of teen girls may become dangerously compromised based on unforgiving social standards and popular culture. Additionally, there are experts that agree poor self-esteem may be a result of negative body image, which leads to depression.

According to Etcoff et al (2004, 2007),

  • Only 4% of women around the world consider themselves beautiful (up from 2% in 2004)
  • Only 11% of girls globally are comfortable using the word beautiful to describe themselves
  • 72% of girls feel tremendous pressure to be beautiful
  • 80% of women agree that every woman has something about her that is beautiful but do not see their own beauty
  • More than half (54%) of women globally agree that when it comes to how they look, they are their own worst beauty critic

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4 Parenting Tips to Building Self Esteem | L.O.V.E.

LISTEN: Oftentimes, the most effective tool to encourage healthy adolescent development is to listen. Active listening not only benefits the listener, but builds strength and confidence in the speaker. Listen to your daughter with you eyes, body language and attention. Let her “see” that you hear her. Give her your undivided attention by allowing yourself to “be present.” After you validate your daughter by allowing her to see that you are fully engaged, then find a way to repeat to her what she just said. By responding to her through feedback, she will know and understand that you have truly “heard” her.

OFFER SUPPORT: We have often heard John Maxwell’s quote, “People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.” Find out what is important to your daughter; and remember, what is important to her will not be as important to you. Caring about what she cares about is a great way to support her and develop a trusting relationship with her. Adolescent girls in the millennial generation are more disconnected relationally and more connected to social culture; therefore, it is important to support her even if you do not understand her.

VALIDATE: Many teen girls are looking for validation when they sign up for the Instagram Beauty Pageants or any other pageant. Unfortunately, the healthy validation and affirmation that should come from parents or loved ones has been replaced by social media and exaggerated cultural expectations. Self-esteem is usually fostered by the child’s opposite sex parent. Therefore, a teen girl’s father is the primary source of validation and affirmation. However, a child may always benefit validation by family members, friends, sports, activities, and developing specific skills.

ENGAGE IN THEIR WORLD: The ability to be vulnerable and present with your daughter without judgment or expectation may be a challenge. “Showing up” emotionally and psychologically will ultimately create a “safe place” for your child to share their lives with you. Remember, the social standards of acceptability have changed drastically over the past 30 or 40 years. To prevent your child from “shutting down” and shutting you out, it is important to learn about the new culture of social media and the cultural shifts in norms to identify with her emotions, behaviors, likes and dislikes.

If you or someone you know are struggling with poor self-esteem, contact a therapist for assistance.

NOTE: Freely redistribute this resource, electronically or in print, provided you leave the authors, name, credentials, and contact information below intact and include a link to this article.

AUTHOR: Jada Jackson, MS, LMHC – Communicator, Coach & Licensed Mental Health Counselor working with couples, teens, young adults and women empowerment issues in Orlando and East Orlando Florida!  Jada Jackson can be reached at (407) 248-0030.

author avatar
Jada Jackson
National TV Host of Emotional Mojo | Jada Jackson, MS, LMHC, Licensed Mental Health Counselor, is called by national TV News outlets and organizations to speak on a variety of topics effecting today's youth, young adults and couples. Jada is an Author, International Communicator, providing Counseling to Couples, Families, and Individuals. She is also a Self-Esteem Coach and Image Enhancement Specialist for Students, Models, and Professionals. As an international model and Commentator with Ebony Fashion Fair she quickly realized the effects of the modeling industry, not only on society, but also the self-image issues of models worldwide. Her experiences lead her to author Be-You-tiful to share her journey on obtaining her healthy self-image to help men and women find their true identity. Societies pressures on Body Image effects people in many different ways: depression, anxiety, self esteem, cutting, eating disorders, sexual promiscuity, teen pregnancy, substance abuse, relationship issues and more. Jada shares her experience, international success and passion to guide others into meaningful and purposeful living, Read more information on Jada Jackson on this site.

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Total Life Counseling Center consists of Licensed Counselors, masters level therapists, Español counselors, Licensed Mental Health Counselors, business coaches, and image enhancement coaches who provide counseling for emotional, mental, physical and spiritual care including marriage, individual, family, substance abuse and more. TLC’s family, trauma and marriage experts have been interviewed on National and Local TV/Radio over 200 times for their expert advice on Fox News, OWN, WETV, ABC’s Medical Minute and more. Our skilled counselors are relational, approachable and specialists providing therapy services in the Central Florida area including: OrlandoWinter ParkMetroWest, Windermere, Dr. Phillips, East OrlandoLake Mary, and Clermont, Boca Raton Florida, and Dallas, TX.

About the Author: Jada Jackson

National TV Host of Emotional Mojo | Jada Jackson, MS, LMHC, Licensed Mental Health Counselor, is called by national TV News outlets and organizations to speak on a variety of topics effecting today's youth, young adults and couples. Jada is an Author, International Communicator, providing Counseling to Couples, Families, and Individuals. She is also a Self-Esteem Coach and Image Enhancement Specialist for Students, Models, and Professionals. As an international model and Commentator with Ebony Fashion Fair she quickly realized the effects of the modeling industry, not only on society, but also the self-image issues of models worldwide. Her experiences lead her to author Be-You-tiful to share her journey on obtaining her healthy self-image to help men and women find their true identity. Societies pressures on Body Image effects people in many different ways: depression, anxiety, self esteem, cutting, eating disorders, sexual promiscuity, teen pregnancy, substance abuse, relationship issues and more. Jada shares her experience, international success and passion to guide others into meaningful and purposeful living, Read more information on Jada Jackson on this site.

3 Comments

  1. Carol Langlois April 29, 2013 at 12:00 am

    We all know that reality-TV and certain websites encourages drama and strife and feeds us a cultural diet that doesn’t reflect the reality of many people. More media attention on the positive changes girls are making for themselves and for others would rebalance the picture about girls’ potential and encourage girls to think about themselves more positively and how to build on what other girls are already doing.

  2. Jim West May 3, 2013 at 4:15 pm

    Agreed Carol. Thanks for your comment!!

  3. aj May 11, 2017 at 2:28 pm

    If everything is beautiful then it loses all meaning.

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author avatar
Jada Jackson
National TV Host of Emotional Mojo | Jada Jackson, MS, LMHC, Licensed Mental Health Counselor, is called by national TV News outlets and organizations to speak on a variety of topics effecting today's youth, young adults and couples. Jada is an Author, International Communicator, providing Counseling to Couples, Families, and Individuals. She is also a Self-Esteem Coach and Image Enhancement Specialist for Students, Models, and Professionals. As an international model and Commentator with Ebony Fashion Fair she quickly realized the effects of the modeling industry, not only on society, but also the self-image issues of models worldwide. Her experiences lead her to author Be-You-tiful to share her journey on obtaining her healthy self-image to help men and women find their true identity. Societies pressures on Body Image effects people in many different ways: depression, anxiety, self esteem, cutting, eating disorders, sexual promiscuity, teen pregnancy, substance abuse, relationship issues and more. Jada shares her experience, international success and passion to guide others into meaningful and purposeful living, Read more information on Jada Jackson on this site.