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- Cut discipline
problems in half.
- Terminate after school Detention-Foundation Academy in Orlando
discontinued their Detention program using this process
- Rebuild the relationships between
provokers and victims
- Building Trust/Positive Peer Pressure in the
Classroom Groups-Onsite
- Consult can be in the format of an
in-service, a
retreat or direct service to students in the classroom.
- Download Brochure of this
Consultation
- Building Positive Peer Pressure
Handouts and Handout Instructions-Available for
Purchase
Click here
to learn about our Social Skills Group Information
Building Positive Peer Pressure by Teaching Positive Socialization
Seung-Hui Cho, Virginia Tech Student, was bullied by fellow high school students
who mocked his shyness and the strange way he talked, according to classmates.
He probably heard “Sorry! Sorry! Sorry!” over and over again. "Sorry" a word
forced under pressure in schools across the country. "Sorry" is what students
like Cho receive over and over again, and then the perpetrator receives a time
out, detention, work detail, suspension or expulsion. "Lociento" is the Spanish
word for Sorry and means "I feel for you." Picture someone forced in anger to
say "Sorry!" but instead insert the phrase "I feel for you!!!" Sounds ludicrous.
Now imagine someone punching a student in the nose and then shortly thereafter
saying "I feel for you!" After this insincere, forced apology, the perpetrator
then becomes resentful toward the victim and attempts to be more covert in
hurting or provoking the victim the next time.
Additionally, these punishments
isolate or further creates a divide between the perpetrator from the victim
rather than repair the relationship. A principal of a large private school
called Jim West to ask for advice with a couple of students that were enemies
for 3 years. One student pushed another student in the bathroom and hit his head
on the wall and the parents were very upset. Jim recommended the APC Plan for
the student. A-Apologize, and P-Plan to “make it up to him” cleaning out his
desk or carry his backpack for the day. The student did not want to do either
plan, but the principal wisely responded by saying "why not think about it and
we will deal with it first thing the next morning" as she realizes when we are
angry we need time to cool down. When we are angry we are “Temporarily Insane”
and do not think logically and may say or do something we would not normally
otherwise. The next morning the boy entered her office and, get this, he offered
to both carry the other boy’s backpack & clean out his desk. Now these boys had
been enemies for three years, so when it came time for his backpack to be
carried do you think the victim would let the other boy out of his sight with
his backpack[?] . . . NO WAY! So picture two boys walking down the hall
together, one carrying 2 backpacks and the other snickering a little but
starting to connect throughout the day.
This happens in schools using the APC
plan all over the state because if the person responsible does not “Make it Up”
then they lose their privileges at school until they do comply. So back to the
two boys walking together the rest of the day . . . I spoke with the father of
one of the boys about a year ago and was told the boys have been spending the
night and doing things together ever since and that was 1 1/2 years later. So
what’s exciting about this illustration is that with this plan, instead of
isolating the perpetrator with punishment, the kids are given a format to repair
or rebuild the relationship by “making it up." Would the Virginia Tech incident
have been avoided if this system was used in Cho's school to not only have the
students apologize, but have them do something that repairs the hurt and the
relationship. The boy in the school illustration was made aware by the principal
that there would be an additional C-Consequence if this happens again and the
consequence is always an “additional task or chore” for the victim to assure the
student this would not happen again. However, it’s rare that it goes beyond the
first step.
DETENTION ELIMINATION: Some schools have incorporated this process
in their discipline program and have seen a 50% drop in discipline problems and
have eliminated their after school detention program.
BULLYING PROGRAM: This
program is also used by schools to reduce Bullying by teaching students positive
socialization, giving them an opportunity each day to practice positive
socialization, greeting their classmates by the end of the week each week,
learning how to resolve conflict with the APC Plan and how to repair past hurts.
Students are also more inclusive, more on time to school as they are eager to
have a 4-5 students each day greet, compliment and affirm them each day. The
seminar is available on DVD or call us at 407-248-0030 to
order the DVD or set up a phone consultation.
Check out our Social Skills Groups
Blogs:
"Positive Conflict Resolution for Families"
by James L West, MA, LMHC, NCC
Subscribe to TLC Blogs & Podcasts
Testimonials-Building Trust/Positive Peer Pressure in the Classroom
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