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Why is your child Angry? | 4 Tips to Understanding Your Child’s Emotions.

Jim West — Tue, 15 May 2012 04:33:00 +0000

Why is your child angry? What is your child feeling? When you were a child did you wish your parents allowed you to express your emotions? How many times did you hear, “Boys don’t cry” or “If you keep crying I’ll give you something to cry about”? Or maybe it was more subtle and was, “You are not really feeling that” or “feelings don’t really matter.” Unfortunately we cannot go back in time and change the way we were parented, but we are able to make changes and not allow ourselves to parent this way. Here are 4 tips to prevent that from happening. 1. Try to Remember what you felt when you were their age Why do we forget what we were experiencing when we were our child’s age? Now, I understand that if they are 2 we might not remember, but 6, 8, 12, 20 are all ages we should be able to remember something from that time frame. Remember what you felt when you were in school, home, friends. When we can remember what we thought and felt it should allow us to relate and show empathy toward our child. Your child is developing and you need to embrace it and come along side them. If you are finding it a challenge to remember, go and find an old yearbook and watch the emotions and thoughts come flooding back. Then interact with your child in a way that remembers those feelings you had. 2. Don’t take their actions personally Just because a child does not obey their parent does not mean that they have a personal vendetta toward the child. Most parents I see think that their child or adolescent should be aware of how their actions will impact their parents. Really? So, as an adolescent, you were worried about what your parents were experiencing when you made your choices? You were worried about your father’s car when you were speeding down the road, trying to impress your friends? You were worried about how your parents would look when you were upset and said something disrespectful? I have noticed that when a parent takes their child’s actions personally they are incapable of trying to understand how their child feels. If a parent does not address a child’s feelings, then the child will continue to express that feeling and usually add a few more feelings on top of that. 3. Allow them to talk about their feelings (Especially at a young age) It’s important to validate their feelings. This validation occurs when the child is able to talk to a listening parent. If your children are young then it is the perfect time to start this. When you see their arms crossed, or they have an upset face it is easy to address the body language, but instead, when you see it ask them what they are upset about? This might take them by surprise, but it will allow them to talk about the way they feel. If you have older children then you need to remember that they might be at a stage where they are seeking their autonomy so they might not be as open to talk. If this is the case, when they tell you something about their life, instead of asking them how they feel, you can feel for them. If they tell you they were bullied at school you could say to them, wow if that happened to me that would make me really mad. If they tell you they had a friend talk behind their back you could say, that would make me frustrated. This will allow them to see that you are expressing a feeling and it is okay. Because they have the feeling inside of them, what safer way for them to express it than with their parents? 4. Remember Their Feelings Are Real At different stages of childhood/adolescents feelings are extremely strong. As we get older we see things differently. But when a child is going through a situation their feelings are real, and sometimes it is the first time they have experienced an emotion. We understand that life will become more stressful than what they are experiencing now, but they do not see it this way. If a parent addresses these feelings and allows the child to express themselves, then the child will work through the feeling and also recognize when they feel it again. If a child suppresses the feeling and does not talk about it, then the child will keep experiencing the emotion, but not know what they should do with it. They will be upset at a teacher and then take it out on their brother. They will feel like a failure at a sport and then talk negatively to their parent. Don’t just try to fix your child’s behavior, work hard to understand why the child is behaving this way. Realize that when you see a behavior from your child it might be an expression of an unexpressed emotion.

If you or someone you know needs parenting guidance, please contact a counselor to assist you. NOTE: you can freely redistribute this resource, electronically or in print, provided you leave the authors contact information below intact. Author: James L West, MA, LMHC, NCC Edited by: Jada Collins, M.A. M.S. Register Mental Health Counselor Intern #9777

The Lucky One | 3 Tips to Rekindle Your Relationship

Jim West — Mon, 14 May 2012 22:03:57 +0000

Nicholas Sparks is no stranger to heart-wrenching passion and the kind of love that only star-crossed lovers share. Teary eyed audiences have come to expect this from his novels and their film adaptions, but do the rose colored glasses come off once the credits end? Dissatisfaction with romantic partners is a common occurrence. We are all guilty of searching for “the one;” this magical partner who will swoop in and complete us. Yet, we are baffled as to why no one seems to qualify for this title. Has he really failed to fulfill your expectations, or are your expectations setting the bar too high for any man who isn’t U.S. Marine Logan Thibault? When we start comparing real life relationships to the ones we see portrayed on T.V and in movies, our life starts to seem much less satisfying, including the partner we are with. Our attraction to him decreases with repeated exposure to fictionalized romance. When we watch a passionate romance unfold, our emotions become keenly in tune with the actors we are watching. While consciously we understand movies are not reality, our heightened state of arousal tells our subconscious otherwise. Once the feeling wears off after the movie ends, we return to our normal selves in our normal everyday lives. This is when we start wondering why our guy never gives us any attention. Why isn’t he waiting for you with roses on the bed and a candlelight dinner? When was the last time he lifted you up in a powerful embrace, kissing you like it was the end of time? If you are in a mutually committed relationship, chances are he isn’t completely neglecting you and your needs. However, compared to Logan and Beth, any man’s effort to be romantic in daily life is futile.

Indulging yourself in a sappy chick flick now and then shouldn’t ruin your relationship. But take the time each day to appreciate your partner. Acknowledge aloud what he does that you enjoy, and also talk about what you are unhappy with. Remember the little things he does, like fixing lunch for the kids when you are running late, or kissing you goodbye each time you part. Sure, you may not see fireworks with every peck on the lips, but it’s his way of letting you know he cares. Also set a night each week that the two of you go out alone to rekindle the passion of dating. With a little extra effort, you may find you don’t need the fancy extravagance of fictional romance after all. According to an article by TIME magazine, ""Relationship counselors often face common misconceptions in their clients — that if your partner truly loves you they'd know what you need without you communicating it, that your soul mate is predestined. We did a rigorous content analysis of romantic comedies and found that the same issues were being portrayed in these films," the university's Dr Bjarne Holmes says. In addition, not all relationship experts agree with the results of Dr. Bjarne Holmes. "Phillip Hodson, a fellow at the British Association for Counseling and Psychotherapy, says that while romantic comedies can cause problems for couples once they exit the euphoric first few years of a relationship, they also provide a much needed source of hope and inspiration for the unattached. "We need to live by stories that help us deal with tough realities. Idealism has a role to play — it can convince us that no matter how misshapen, decrepit, or dull we are, there is someone out there for us. And you know what? There is! Walk through any shopping mall and you see the most extraordinary pairings," he says. "We all need hope in our lives. And Hollywood trades on hope."

The ability to walk on the cautious side of fantasy would be the most effective way to ensure that your relationship does not suffer from Hollywood endorsed romance. So, here are a few extra tips to keep your relationship thriving:

1) Rekindle your love: Take time to reflect on the reasons you fell in love with your significant other. Talk to your partner about these reasons and celebrate one another with a small act of kindness or a small gift.

2) Revisit your relationship purpose statement: Every relationship needs a purpose statement. What are your goals and expectations of the relationship. If you do not have a purpose statement, take time to develop one together. Consider goals that you would like to achieve as a couple.

3) Create a relationship "Bucket List": Aside from your relationship purpose statement, take time to create a bucket list. Let your mind explore all of the amazing possibilities of creating a relationship bucket list. The sky is the limit and this could be an activity to reconnect with your partner's creativity.

If you or someone you know need relationship assistance, please contact a counselor to assist you. NOTE: you can freely redistribute this resource, electronically or in print, provided you leave the authors contact information below intact. Author: James L West, MA, LMHC, NCC Edited by: Jada Collins, M.A. M.S. Register Mental Health Counselor Intern #9777

3 Tips to Help Your Wife Feel Appreciated on Mother’s Day | Christy Turlington

Matthew Martin — Fri, 04 May 2012 18:46:49 +0000

Due to modern medicine and medical procedures, it is difficult to think that every mother was at risk when she gave birth. Most experiencing pregnancy go as planned or with slight complications. But according to the World Health Organization at least one woman dies from complications related to pregnancy or childbirth every minute. To raise awareness for this model, Christy Turlington has decided to forgo this mother’s day celebration to bring awareness to this issue. I can respect her point of view as a mother, and her stance has created an awareness. But I would like to address husbands and father’s on ways to help your wife feel appreciated on mother’s day, because unless your wife is on the same page as Ms. Turlington, you will not have a pleasant day if you forgo this day’s celebration. Knowing this fact presented by the world health organization has made me appreciate the health that my wife has experienced in giving birth to my children. Below are 3 tips to help your wife feel appreciated on mother’s day. 1. Communicate how much you appreciate her as a mom. If you just look at it logically that she put her life in danger to give you a child or children, it should make you want to show her appreciation. All the other things that you do on that Sunday will be hollow if you do not first communicate how much you appreciate her. Now I understand that people show and receive appreciation differently. If you feel stuck, the first thing I would say is to ask her how she would feel appreciated. Once you understand this then simply do it. If you know that she would just like a little break that weekend, then just work hard to take care of the responsibilities. 2. Help encourage the children to show her how they feel about her. Every mom enjoys when they are connected with their children. Sometimes you can help foster this which will make their mother feel special. This connection could be something handcrafted. This connection could also be something verbal. Maybe you take your wife’s phone and then you have your children call and leave a really cute, sweet, funny message showing how much they care about her. Then she will see later in the day that she has a voicemail and she can be encouraged in her day. Sometimes it can be as simple as a note in the morning. Or it could be breakfast in bed. The list goes on, but the bottom line is there is a need to have her children connect with her and sometimes it can be fostered by their father. 3. Give her a gift (whether big or small) that incorporates being a mom. Most people in the world enjoy gifts. This could be something like a journey necklace or some type of jewelry that incorporates your child(ren)’s birth stone. Incorporating the birth stones has allowed me to get meaningful gifts with many variety and options for many mother’s days to follow. There are rings, earrings, necklaces, bracelets so it makes it easy for me to remember and make her feel important as a mom. If jewelry is not her thing than there are many other ideas which are being marketed for mother’s day. No matter what the gift it is important to make her feel important as a mom. Other holidays, birthdays can be used for any type of gift, but this mother’s day try to give a gift that focuses on her being a mom. It is important for the mother of your children to feel valued in the role of mother. Let these tips be a springboard for you to appreciate and care for her. Note: You can freely redistribute this resource, electronically or in print, as long as you leave the author’s contact information intact.

Toddlers & Tiaras | Healthy or Harmful? | Are Moms Living Vicariously through their Daughters?

Jada Collins — Fri, 13 Apr 2012 14:54:12 +0000

Toddlers & Tiaras | Moms living vicariously through their daughters | Healthy or Harmful? TLC’s hit show Toddlers & Tiaras showcases the real life drama of beauty pageants and the behind the scenes chaos. Temper tantrums, explosive arguments and competitive mothers have become the drawing card for millions of viewers. With a great deal of controversy, this reality series sparks questions regarding the oversexualization of little girls and mothers that are forcing their daughters to be perfect. Sexy outfits, provocative dance routines and flirty personalities have become the tools used to pursuade judges to give the highest score to the most deserving contestant. So, the question is, “How much is too much?” According to Fox News, “TLC’s hit series "Toddlers & Tiaras" caused outrage last season when 3-year-old pageant princess “Peppermint Paisley” performed a “Pretty Woman” routine, dressed as Julia Roberts’ 90s character, the hooker with a heart of gold Vivian Ward. Despite the widespread public outrage over the pint-sized prostitute costume, Paisley’s mom has returned for another season of “Toddlers & Tiaras” and is actually boasting about all the positives the incident brought her young daughter. ‘I love living vicariously through my 3-year-old daughter Paisley,’ mom Wendy gushes in the premiere episode, which airs Wednesday. ‘Paisley has competed in over 60 pageants, but it was definitely the ‘Pretty Women’ costume that put Paisley’s name out there.’” Dressing 3-year-old little girls like prostitutes is certainly an eyebrow raiser. With the rise of reality series such as Dance Moms and Toddlers & Tiaras, adults worldwide are questioning the parenting skills of mothers that confess they are living vicaiously through their daughters. According to a PEOPLE article, New York-based liscensed clinical social worker Mark Sichel says, "’Little girls are supposed to play with dolls, not be dolls.’ He adds that the extremes parents go to in order to prepare their children for competition – using padding, fake hair, flippers (faux teeth) and spray tans – ‘causes the children tremendous confusion, wondering why they are not okay without those things." With shows like Toddlers & Tiaras showcasing oversexualized girls, how can parents protect their children from developing a false sense of identity and self-esteem? First, it is important to understand self-esteem. According to APA’s glossary, self-esteem is defined as “A generalized evaluative attitude toward the self that influences both moods and behavior and that exerts a powerful effect on a range of personal and social behaviors.” It is important for parents to cultivate positive self-esteem through positive affirmations, emotional support, foster positive body image and teach children to engage in healthy relationships How can parents help their daughters develop healthy self-esteem? Anita Gurian, Ph.D. says: Although the media, peers, and pop culture influence children, parents still hold more sway than they think when it comes to having an impact on a daughter's developing self-esteem. Here's how parents can help:

Monitor your own comments about your self and your daughter.
Get dads involved. Girls with active, hardworking dads attend college more often and are more ambitious, more successful in school, more likely to attain careers of their own, less dependent, more self protective, and less likely to date an abusive man.
Watch your own stereotypes; let daughters help fix the kitchen sink and let sons help make dinner.
Encourage your daughter to speak her mind.
Let girls fail - which requires letting them try. Helping them all the time or protecting them, especially if done by dad, can translate into a girl feeling incapable or incompetent.
Don't limit girls' choices, let them try math, buy them a chemistry kit. Interest, not just expertise, should be motivation enough.
Get girls involved with sports/physical activity, it can reduce their risk of chronic diseases. Female athletes do better academically and have lower school drop-out rates than non-athletes. Regular physical activity can enhance girls' mental health, reduce symptoms of stress and depression, make them feel strong and competent
Watch television, movies, and other media with your daughters and sons. Discuss how images of girls are portrayed.
Counteract advertisers who take advantage of the typical anxieties and self-doubts of pre-teen and teenage girls by making them feel they need their product to feel "cool." To sensitize them to this trend and to highlight the effect that ads can have on people, discuss the following questions (adapted from the Media Awareness Network) with children:

a) Do you ever feel bad about yourself for not owning something? b) Have you ever felt that people might like you more if you owned a certain item? c) Has an ad make you feel that you would like yourself more, or that others would like you more if you owned the product the ad is selling? d) Do you worry about your looks? Have you ever felt that people would like you more if your face, body, skin or hair looked different? e) Has an ad ever made you feel that you would like yourself more, or others would like you more, if you changed your appearance with the product the ad was selling?

It is within the family that a girl first develops a sense of who she is and who she wants to become. Parents armed with knowledge can create a psychological climate that will enable each girl to achieve her full potential. Parents can help their daughters avoid developing, or overcome, negative feelings about themselves and grow into strong, self-confident women. If you or someone you know are struggling with negative self-esteem, poor body image or Body Dysmorphic Disorder please contact a counselor to assist you. NOTE: you can freely redistribute this resource, electronically or in print, provided you leave the authors contact information below intact. Author: Jada Collins, M.A. M.S. Register Mental Health Counselor Intern #9777 Author, Life Coach, and Communicator

Bully Movie Documentary 2012 should your Child See It? | 3 Quick Tips for Parents of Victims | CBS 6

Jim West — Fri, 13 Apr 2012 14:22:54 +0000

The Bully Movie Documentary was rated R because of cursing, aggression and themes of suicide! So should your middle schooler or high school student see it. From the reviews and information about the movie it is following students that are bullied at school. Unfortunately, the cursing, aggression and themes of suicide are what middle school and high school teens are seeing every day! However, this movie can help in many ways with victims and the bully:

3 Quick Tips for parents of a Victim

First parents can see this movie and see the need to talk to their students and watch for changes in behavior.
Second parents can give their kids tools to fly their students under the bully radar by building social skills, so the victims will have a posse.
Third, parents can teach students how to roll with teasing rather than react or ignore the teasing.

Expert Tips for Parents of Students of Bullying from Bullying Expert Jim West - Read More Jim West recently shared his unique perspective at Colonial High School in Orlando as Jim shared he was a bully in elementary school and was bullied in middle and high school. Jim was a bully because of domestic violence at home and when his parents divorced, moved away and the violence stopped and so did his bullying. Then he was also bullied when he moved to a new school. Now he is a licensed mental health counselor and bullying expert helping 1000's of students with his school bullying program which repairs the relationship of the bully with the victim. His program goes beyond an apology. Read more about his school program. Note: You can freely redistribute this resource, electronically or in print, as long as you leave the author’s contact information intact. Author: James L West, MA, LMHC, NCC

K2 Spice Black Mamba Dragon Spice | Synthetic Marijuana | Could Your Children Be in Danger?

Admin — Fri, 13 Apr 2012 00:52:14 +0000

News of synthetic marijuana, also known as K2 or Spice, has cropped up again in the news as it returns to many local businesses after a ban placed by The Drug Enforcement Administration on five chemicals last year. Florida Governor Rick Scott is trying to end the issue for good, with the signing of an amendment that would add 29 new chemical compounds to the list of prohibited controlled substances by this fall. Hillsborough County Sheriff’s deputies have also recently given contributing store owners a chance to get the products off their shelves for good. What is it called? A few different street names for synthetic marijuana are: K2, Spice, Mr. Smiley, Red X Dawn, Blaze, and Potpourri. What is it and how does it work? K2 is a synthetic form of marijuana that is often sold at convenience stores and gas stations in attractive, brightly colored bags marketed as potpourri or incense. It is made by creating a concoction of plants and herbs, and then sprayed with a chemical that produce the effects similar to marijuana. These artificial products mimic marijuana's active ingredient, THC, and bind to similar receptors in the brain. They are dangerous because you never know the dosage you are receiving or what the exact contents are in each package, as the mixture is always changing. Although these products have been banned in the past, they are currently legal after manufactures produced different mixtures of the contributing chemical compounds as well as adding chemicals not catalogued on the list of banned substances. Who is interested? Mainly teens, particularly those that are currently abusing drugs and alcohol, may be drawn to K2 and other synthetic drugs because they can’t easily be detected on drug tests and they are easy to attain. What are the effects? The side effects are completely unpredictable, and can be anything from increased anxiety, nausea, vomiting, hypertension, and elevated blood pressure, to hallucinations, increased aggression, extreme paranoia, panic attacks, seizures, and suicide. Since the drug is so new, long-term effects are currently unknown, but repeated use could lead to memory loss or possibly psychosis. Poison control centers nationwide have indicated that there has been a considerable increase of the use of designer drugs like K2 in recent years. The Health Department also stated that there have been a number of deaths and record numbers of emergency room visits linked to the use of synthetic marijuana. How to get help? Often students or adults addicted or abusing substances are often self-medicating a bigger issue, so it's good to speak to a counselor. Often times K2 is so toxic it can stay in the system for longer than 30 days so if someone needs a drug rehabilitation program they need 30-45 days just to get it out of their system. If it's still in their system then they are still influenced by the drug and will have difficulty thinking rationally and looking at their issues. So they may not benefit from the therapy until they are off the drug for 45 days and often the fog is lifted and they are able to benefit from the treatment. Resources: TBO.com CBNnews.com Myfoxtampabay.com WebMD.com Oswegocountytoday.com Note: You can freely redistribute this resource, electronically or in print, as long as you leave the author’s contact information intact. Author: Tiffany Justice, BS Psychology Edited by therapist, counselor Dr. Leslie Hamilton, Ph.D., LMFT & James L West, MA, LMHC, NCC

7 Tips For Better Sleep | Sleepless with Daylight Savings Time

Laura Bravo — Fri, 13 Apr 2012 00:23:19 +0000

With daylight savings time, people across the U.S. are adjusting to a new sleep schedule. While the need for the time change is debatable, what is not disputed is the importance of having a good night's sleep. One of the number one complaints from family, friends, colleagues and clients is a lack of sleep or lack of good quality sleep. While everyone experiences poor sleep from time to time, a chronic lack of sleep could mean someone may be dealing with issues such as depression, anxiety, traumatic response, or a medical problem. Regardless of the reason for disrupted sleep, here are seven tips which may help improve your sleep. One word of caution: If you suspect your sleep issue is related to a medical issue, or if you have gone more than three days without sleeping, please consult with a medical professional. 7 Tips for better sleep: 1. Turn off the TV! Screen time, which means any screen, (computer, phone, TV, or personal reader), activates part of your brain causing it to wake up. The culprit is the light from the screen. If you have an older Kindle, for example, which is not back lit, that would be okay to use. Ideally, turning off all screens one hour before bed will set you up for improved chance of sleeping. 2. Do not stay in bed if you are not sleeping. It is important that you use your bed for sleeping only, because you do not want to associate your bed with not sleeping. Many people look at their beds and instantly feel aggravated. Having negative thoughts or feeling about your bed will not help you sleep better. It is important to re-frame your thoughts about your bed as a relaxing, comfortable place where sleep happens. If you find yourself laying in bed for 20 minutes or more, and feel like you will not fall asleep, get up and move to another location. 3. Create a bedtime routine. Regardless of what time you choose to go to bed, having a bed time routine may help. Gradually turning off lights as you near your bed time, wrapping up your day, having a mug of chamomile tea, relaxing music are examples of things to do to wind down. Whatever your routine is, it is important to set the stage for a restful night. 4. Limit caffeine: Caffeine can be a very helpful thing, however, if you have frequent trouble sleeping, try to avoid caffeine. If you believe you must have coffee to start your day, try and make sure you avoid caffeine after lunch time. 5. Exercise is beneficial for many reasons and one of them is improving the quality of sleep. It is debatable as to whether it is better to exercise earlier in the day or in the evening. You can try both and discover which works best for you. Try exercising in the morning, afternoon or evening and see how that impacts your sleep. Exercise, in general, helps sleep, but people are individualistic as to whether exercising in the evening wakes them up or helps them sleep. 6. Avoid eating too much or too little. Heavy meals or hunger before bedtime negatively impacts sleep. 7. Avoid napping. Allowing naps may contribute to a negative sleep cycle. Napping can make it more difficult to fall asleep when it would be best for you. In general, when dealing with sleep issues, naps are discouraged. Sleep issues may be very frustrating, but the way you approach your sleep issue matters. Most of the time, regardless of your sleep issue, you will sleep eventually. You may have some extremely tired days, but you will sleep. Most people underestimate how many hours they sleep. Three to four days without sleeping, while extremely annoying, won't hurt you physically. If you find yourself having more than just occasional sleep problems, there are many professionals who can help you. Your medical doctor would be a good place to start. Other professional who can help are psychologists, counselors and professionals who are trained in Biofeedback. Note: You can freely redistribute this resource, electronically or in print, as long as you leave the author’s contact information intact. Author: Laura Peddie-Bravo, MA, LMHC, NCC Edited by therapist, counselor Dr. Leslie Hamilton, Ph.D., LMFT

Three Most Hated Non-Medical ADHD Tips

Laura Bravo — Thu, 12 Apr 2012 19:30:42 +0000

While prescription medication has it's place, there are research studies which show children who have been placed on ADHD medication while young are substantially more likely to use and abuse drugs as they get older. Why? The most common reaction is "My parents are giving me drugs, why don't I medicate myself?" There are multiple other options to treat ADHD symptoms, and they can be life changing. One of the ways they are life changing - literally - is because the modern American life can negatively impact ADHD symptoms. Think about your day;

How many hours do you spend texting?
Watching t.v.?
Sitting in front of the computer?
Sitting in general?
Eating fast food or ready made (boxed) foods such as crackers, cereal, chips and other snacks?

While to many people, snack here and there, and a lot of computer time may have little impact, for those with ADHD symptoms the negative impact may be quite high. Think about our society;

We drink caffiene to wake up and stay awake
We eat things people probably shouldn't ever eat and take pills to settle it in our stomachs.
We are mostly too sedentary, and not honoring our bodies need for sleep and rest, due to staying up late to watch television.
We wake up tired or exhausted and start the cycle all over again.

If you or your child are experiencing ADHD symtpoms, inattention, lack of focus, can't sit still, day dreaming, etc., here are the three most hated non-medical tips for combating ADHD: 1. Reduce TV & Screen Time! Actually, get rid of most of your family's "screen time." Any screen counts; television, computer, I-pad, phone and movie. Each of these screens trains our brains to have a shortened attention span. Adults: If you have a few t.v. shows you can't live without, it would be recommended to ween yourself off of them completely, or at least, DVR them and watch them only after your child has gone to bed. Save watching movies as a special family treat on rare occaisios. 2. Change how your family eats! If you have any questions about this part, you can do your own research, consult with your doctor or pediatrician, or consult with a nutritionist. (Ask around for a highly recommended one.) Americans eat too many carbohydrates. For example, when your child eats a bowl of cereal (even cereal that portrays itself as "healthy,") for breakfast, the carobohydrates quickly turn to sugar which may give your child a quick energy boost, but that energy is gone 30-45 minutes after eating that cereal! Instead, try a more balanced breakfast. For example, eggs and toast, yogurt and fruit, lean bacon (or even turkey bacon) and an egg. A higher protein breakfast can provide nearly four hours of energy! Imagine how much better your child will be able to focus if s/he can pay attention from breakfast through lunch time. 3. Get moving! Some people self medicate their ADHD symptoms with exercise alone as hyperactivity is extra energy and can be burned by walking the dog or running in the morning! Exercise does not have to be joining a sport, but that would be great if you can do it. Swimming is excellent for ADHD symptoms. Getting off the couch or out of the chair and exercising for even five minutes will significantly contribute to increased focus and attention. To read more, please visit Total Life Counseling's web site. There are free articles and interviews which will give you more information on how you can combat your child's (or your!) ADHD symptoms without using prescription medication. Note: You can freely redistribute this resource, electronically or in print, as long as you leave the author’s contact information intact. Edited by therapist, counselor Dr. Leslie Hamilton, Ph.D., LMFT & James L West, MA, LMHC, NCC

3 Social Networking Tips | Marine Sgt. Gary Stein Comments about Obama | FACEBOOK Etiquette 101

Jada Collins — Tue, 10 Apr 2012 14:42:18 +0000

Military Sergeant Gary Stein comments about Obama | Should you “befriend” your boss and coworkers on FACEBOOK? | 3 Social Networking Tips for Personal & Professional Success Marine Sgt. Gary Stein's anti-Obama Facebook posts captured the attention of the military when he made comments criticizing the President. Stein learned earlier this week that he may be discharged from his military duties because of this social networking scandal. In addition to negative comments and post, Stein allegedly put the president's face on a "Jackass" movie poster. So, the question is, "How far is too far?" Stein argues that it is his right to exercise free speech as an American citizen, while the military board believes it is impossible for Stein to effectively serve his country if he is at odds with the commander in chief. This controversial story brings to light the growing issues that social network users are faced with. Should an employee be fired because of comments and posts on Facebook or any other social network? Employees nationwide scorn bosses that “snoop” into their personal lives and argue that it is unfair. In addition, employers are baffled by the unprofessional content displayed by their employees on social networks such as FACEBOOK, Twitter, Instagram, Tumblr and others. The controversy continues to rage as many social network users believe bosses violate their privacy by snooping, while employers are concerned about how their employees are representing their companies. Remember, today, companies are interviewing future employees through their social networking identities long before he/she walks into the face-to-face job interview. It is important to protect your social network identity and think twice before you hit the “post” button. Here are three Social Networking tips for success! 1) Keep your personal life personal and your professional life professional. Many people make the mistake of posting excessive personal items that are causing them to loose jobs, credibility and relationships. Social networks are great for branding yourself or for building your business. The networks are also a terrific way to stay in touch with family and friends across the country or the world. However, it is necessary to consider how much personal information you allow others to view. So, should you befriend your boss and/or coworkers? Of course the decision is yours, however, it is a good idea to never post anything that would compromise your integrity and credibility. Personal information is just that...personal. Therefore, think twice before you share that information with the world! 2) Use common sense. Emotional posting has become a huge problem in the social networking community. Most questionable posts are made in the “heat of the moment.” Whether you are angry, excited, happy or sad, it is important to consider what you are posting and who will see the post. Always think twice, count to 10, go for a walk to cool off; and if in doubt…do not post! Again, modern technology is a great way to connect with family and friends worldwide, however, everyone does not need to know that you are having a "bad day at work and you hate your job." Many employees have been fired for posting such comments on their Facebook pages not knowing that their boss and/or coworkers were Facebook friends that viewed the posts. Remember, when in doubt...do not post! 3) Understand the pros and cons of sharing personal and professional information on social networks. Although there are some amazing positives to the social network craze, there are just as many negatives. When branding your professional life and identity, social network sites may be an effective tool to share your product, career, skills and/or company with thousands. However, the same friends that you seek to do business with should not be privy to your night out with your friends. Use common sense! According to CNN article, “Before you decide if you should be your superior's Facebook friend, you have to ask yourself why you would want to be online buddies. Is everyone else in your department connected online or are you going to be the only employee SuperPoking the boss? 'If you work for a forward-thinking company whose entire staff is on Facebook, then your participation is the online equivalent of lunching with co-workers or a water cooler chat,' says Patrice-Anne Rutledge, a social networking expert and author of 'The Truth About Profiting from Social Networking.' If you use Facebook to air political rants, document your wild weekend escapades, post wacky photos or vent about your job, you should obviously have some concerns about letting your boss view this aspect of your life,’ Rutledge cautions. ‘But what's important to remember is that no online content is truly private, even if your intention is to share this information only with your Facebook friends. Facebook makes your profile viewable to anyone in the networks you belong to, even if you're not directly connected with or even know all the network members,’ Rutledge says.” Here are more tips for sharing personal information on Facebook and other networking sites. According to Who’s Watching, the following are tips to protect yourself on social networking sites. Ways to protect yourself on social networking sites 1) Limit who can see what you post. If you don’t want random users to see your contact information, you can limit the publication of that data. Just change your settings. You can also block users from having any contact with you should the need arise. One simple and quick setting (on Facebook) you can change to increase privacy is to restrict the viewing of your profile only to users at your own college or to only your “friend” list. Most social networking sites offer similar ways to restrict access to personal information, but in all cases, the principle is the same: don’t advertise to the world what you’re doing or where you live. But don’t forget that even if you limit who can see what you post, there are ways others can get around it to view your profile anyway. 2) Limit what you post. Don’t share things that would make you vulnerable to unwanted contact (such as sharing your email address, physical address, or phone number) or to stalking (such as information about your schedule or routine). Also, if your friends or connections post such information about you, make sure the combined information on their pages is not more than you would be comfortable with strangers knowing. Remember, you can't take it back! It’s important to recognize that once you publish something online, it is available to other people and to search engines. You can’t retract it. Even if you go back and remove the information from a site, it’s always possible that someone has already seen it. And they may have saved a copy. Finally, due to the overwhelming evolution of modern technology and the concerns that accompany social networking, many people find themselves more depressed, anxious, paranoid and angry. If you or someone you know are addicted to social networking or are experiencing depression or anxiety due to stressful life problems, please contact a counselor to assist you. NOTE: you can freely redistribute this resource, electronically or in print, provided you leave the authors contact information below intact. Author: Jada Collins, M.A. M.S. Register Mental Health Counselor Intern #9777 Author, Life Coach, and Communicator Edited by Jim West, M.A., LMHC, NCC Mentor, Coach, Counselor, Communicator

Hunger Games | 5 Tips for a Healthy Body Image | Did Hollywood Finally Get it Right? | Jennifer Lawrence

Leslie Hamilton — Tue, 03 Apr 2012 01:19:56 +0000

The box-office hit movie, The Hunger Games, raked in millions of dollars opening weekend. However, the star of the film, Jennifer Lawrence, has been criticized by some viewers as being too heavy for the role. Lawrence, a beautiful, fit actress of a healthy weight has publicly denounced Hollywood's idealization of skinny, waif-like women and has highlighted the importance of having healthy role models so girls can feel good about themselves. The Hunger Games is extremely popular with young audiences and the images represented in the movie will likely have a huge impact on young viewers. The casting of Jennifer Lawrence is a step in the right direction! We need more images of healthy-weight females in the media if we are to raise young women with feelings of confidence and self-acceptance. Did you know:

80% of 13 year olds report having attempted to lose weight
More than 50% of 10 year olds report wishing they were thinner
The female image that Hollywood tends to idealize naturally occurs in only 5% of women
The typical model weighs 23% less than a woman of average, healthy stature
95% of those suffering from anorexia are between the ages of 12 and 25

5 Tips for developing a healthy body image:

Rethink Beautiful: Challenge the images we are spoonfed by Hollywood! Think about the values that these images reflect and compare them with your own values. Then, expand your definition of beautiful to be in accordance with YOUR values.
Highlight your Strengths: The problem with our preoccupation with physical appearance is that we uphold the external image as the most important quality of a person. But is it really? What are those qual
ities and virtues that we most value in our friends and loved ones? What are the qualities we most value in ourselves?
Practice Self-Acceptance: As parents, we are able to love our children unconditionally, and find them beautiful, just the way they are. Perfectly, imperfect. Yet, we are so often our own harshest-critic! Take some time to look in the mirror with the eyes of a parent, and offer love and acceptance to those areas of your appearance you have repeatedly criticized. (Turn those post-pregnancy stretch marks into stripes of honor and courage, earned in your rite of passage into motherhood, or embrace that extra "rear" padding for the comfort it offers on hard seats!)
Keep Your Words Positive: Words are powerful, and they can hurt or they can heal. They can build up or tear down. When we are talking about ourself (or others, for that matter), practice using kind words. "Ihate my nose" or "I'm so fat" are demoralizing, breed self-rejection, and model poor behavior for those around us, like ourchildren or younger siblings. As parents, it is important that we do not disparage ourselves, or we will raise children who disparage themselves. Look in the mirror, and say outloud, "I love the way I look!" "My body is healthy, able, and strong" "My body is my temple and I will honor it."
Seek Balance: More important than superficial, aesthetic beauty that may mask all types of concealed uglies, is the beauty that radiates forth when one feels peaceful and balanced in their life. When our eating habits are balanced with our levels of physical activity and play, when our time is balanced between work and family, when our attention is balanced between self and others, we exude a beauty that is the hallmark sign of a life well lived.

Note: You can freely redistribute this resource, electronically or in print, as long as you leave the author’s contact information intact. Author & Edited by therapist, counselor Dr. Leslie Hamilton, Ph.D., LMFT