Orlando Counselor: Positive Conflict Resolution for Families
Orlando family counselor offers as simple conflict resolution program to resolve conflict quickly and get back to privileges. “Sorry! Sorry! Sorry,” is what students/siblings receive over and over again, and then the perpetrator receives a time out, grounding, loses privileges or in the school, detention, work detail, time out or suspension. The perpetrator then becomes resentful toward the person and attempts to be more covert in hurting or provoking the victim the next time. Additionally, the above listed punishments isolates or further creates a divide between the students from the victim rather than repair the relationship.
FAMILY SCENARIO: I also remember sitting in my conference room with parents and two siblings and I had just explained the APC plan to them and the brother called his sister an “idiot.”
SCHOOL SCENARIO: A principal of a large private school called Jim West to ask for advice with a student who was having significant problems over the past few years and this time had pushed a student in the bathroom and hit his head on the wall. Jim recommended the APC Plan for the student. A-Apologize, and P-Plan to “make it up to him” cleaning out his desk or carry his backpack for the day. The student did not want to do either plan, but the principal wisely responded by saying why not think about it and we will deal with it first thing the next morning as she realizes when we are angry we need time to cool down. When we are angry we are “Temporarily Insane” and do not think logically and may say or do something we would not normally otherwise. The next morning the boy entered her office and, get this, he offered to both carry the other boy’s backpack & clean out his desk. Now these boys had been enemies for three years, so when it came time for his backpack to be carried do you think the victim would let the other boy out of his sight with his backpack
[?] . . . NO WAY! So picture two boys walking down the hall together, one carrying 2 backpacks and the other snickering a little but starting to connect throughout the day. This happens in schools using the APC plan all over the state because if the person responsible does not “Make it Up” then they lose their privileges at school until they do comply. So back to the two boys walking together the rest of the day . . . I spoke with the father of one of the boys about a year ago and was told the boys have been spending the night and doing things together ever since and that was 1 1/2 years later. So what’s exciting about this illustration is that with this plan, instead of isolating the perpetrator with punishment, the kids are given a format to repair or rebuild the relationship by “making it up.” The boy in the school illustration was made aware by the principal that there would be an additional C-Consequence if this happens again and the consequence is always an “additional task or chore” for the victim to assure the student this would not happen again. However, it’s rare that it goes beyond the first step.
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Total Life Counseling Center consists of Licensed Counselors, masters level therapists, Español counselors, Licensed Mental Health Counselors, business coaches, and image enhancement coaches who provide counseling for emotional, mental, physical and spiritual care including marriage, individual, family, substance abuse and more. TLC’s family, trauma and marriage experts have been interviewed on National and Local TV/Radio over 200 times for their expert advice on Fox News, OWN, WETV, ABC’s Medical Minute and more. Our skilled counselors are relational, approachable and specialists providing therapy services in the Central Florida area including: Orlando, Winter Park, MetroWest, Windermere, Dr. Phillips, East Orlando, Lake Mary, and Clermont, Boca Raton Florida, and Dallas, TX.