Orlando Marriage Counselor gives 3 Lessons Learned from Jon and Kate | Daily Buzz

Jon & Kate made the BIG Announcement on their reality show “Jon & Kate Plus Eight” that they will be separating and that it was what was best for the kids. Marriages of the children of divorce have a much higher rate of divorce than the marriage of children from intact families. A major reason for this is that parents model marital commitment or permanence for their kids. Let’s look at three lessons we can learn from the Jon & Kate story with the potential of avoiding this in your family.

1) It is important to balance personal needs with the needs of children.

There is no denying that attempting to meet the needs of sextuplets and twins and still have time for the couple was difficult. Often times when this pattern is developed it can lead the couple down a path of a “child-centered relationship”, which can drive any couple apart emotionally.

2) Couples must be intentional to stay emotionally connected to each other.

It is very easy to get caught in the cycle of having a busy life much like Jon & Kate, however, if you do not schedule time for each other, you are at risk for emotionally detaching from each other. This can leave you vulnerable to outside distractions or self-interests.

3) Couples need to respect each other with their verbal and non-verbal communication.

It is important for couples to know the difference between “sharing” and “dumping”. When each partner can be sensitive to each other’s needs this can lay the foundation of effective communication. When you put yourself in the other’s shoes and consider their needs (without sacrificing your own need) that is empathy, which is the cornerstone for marital satisfaction.

Let’s learn from the mistakes of Jon & Kate and take an assessment of the important relationships in our life. If you answer “No” to any of these questions please seek guidance as it’s easier to get help before things get out of hand. Be proactive!

  1. Are you emotionally connected?
  2. Are you being respectful to each other in your communication?
  3. Are you balancing your personal needs with the needs of the family?
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Author: Janie Lacy