Parenting with Love & Logic: Teaching Children Responsibility

            Do you remember the Cosby Show where six year old Rudy wants to stay up late like the rest of the Huxtable family?Knowing that this was an opportunity for Rudy to learn responsibility, Cliff and Claire allow Rudy to stay up late.  Rudy’s enthusiasm for being a night owl wanes after a few nights of staying up late watching the Johnny Carson Show and then having to get up early for school the next morning.  Through no nagging and lecturing by Cliff and Claire, Rudy learned that in order to function on a day to day basis she must get a full night’s sleep.

Many parents end up in similar situations with their children, but miss the opportunity to teach their children responsibility. The result of this missed opportunity is whiny, ungrateful, dependent children who grow up to be whiny, ungrateful, dependent adults. 

Cliff and Claire Huxtable, although unknowingly, were using a technique that Dr. Foster Cline and Jim Fay call Parenting with Love & Logic.  The principles that Cline and Foster teach are invaluable.  When I counsel children and adolescents of all ages, I use their principles—asking questions, setting limits, and giving choices.  As a caveat, it doesn’t work for all families, but in the families in which I used these techniques for the past five years, I have seen a marked improvement.

We live in a society that is yearning for leaders.  Is your child going to become a leader of tomorrow, responsible and wise, or follow others?

Parents:  If you and/or your spouse are struggling with your child(ren) allow us the opportunity to serve you by teaching you some of these techniques.  We also work with children and adolescents of all ages, using play and art therapy and other hands-on techniques.

Love Languages for Children

There are two things every adult longs to do: connect and contribute.  To be affirmed and play a role.  Children and adolescents are no different.  They desire to be acknowledged in unique personal ways.  In Gary Chapman’s Five Love Languages for Children, Chapman indicates those five love languages are Words of Affirmation, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch.  Children and adolescents, like adults, respond better when they are loved in distinctive ways.  For parents, if you child is hedging at completing an assigned task or chore at home, using one of these assigned love languages will increase the likelihood that he or she will do the task.  Teachers, if you are having trouble getting a student to listen to your instructions, using one or two of these love languages will drastically improve his or her diligence in the allotted directions. 

Please contact us and allow us to serve you by teaching you these skills.  Consults can be arranged as an in-service in school and churches, or by individual sessions in our office.  (407) 248-0030

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