Social Skills Gaps for ADHD and ASD Students Makes Friendship a Challenge | Counselor

By Published On: July 13th, 20234.6 min read

Orlando Counselor on ADHD Social Skills Gaps – BFFs

We love to celebrate with those we feel closest to, and a best friend forever (BFF) is one who is there when we feel lost or sad and need to be comforted; they help us find hope. These friends are the ones we can share everything with and can rely on to listen and understand what we are going through. A BFF can be formed through school, church, work, the neighborhood or organizations. Our BFF’s are the ones who make us laugh when we can’t do it on our own, and who we enjoy doing fun things together with, so it is natural that we should celebrate them.

However, for children with ADHD, having this special relationship with a person may be conspicuously absent. Due to their undeveloped social skills and impetuous behavior, some children don’t understand personal space and may blurt out things just to get attention; creating an uncomfortable situation with others. Many lack friends and some have been ignored in sports, signaled out by teachers, and teased by their siblings and neighbors. They are not invited to the birthday parties, and often feel alienated and lonely.

These feelings of rejection can lead to:

  1. Rebellion
  2. Acting out
  3. In some cases, getting in trouble with the law

Symptoms of ADHD include:

  1. An inability to focus
  2. Forgetfulness
  3. Procrastination
  4. Exercising poor judgment

Often teachers and parents become frustrated and impatient with the child who has trouble organizing themselves, puts things off until “later” or loses their homework. It is presumed their procrastination is due to laziness when in truth, it is more due to their inability to stay focused. Classmates shun children with ADHD and don’t want to play with them because they are perceived as different. They are subject to bullying and teasing, often suffer from feelings of low self esteem, and spend a lot of time by themselves. Friendships are scarce and many times they make poor choices with the children they choose to associate with. They often seek out others who like themselves, have been ostracized by others, and who may be perceived as troublemakers.

Interestingly, children with ADHD often receive high test scores on standardized tests and are considered highly intelligent. However, expecting them to sit through long periods without breaks is unrealistic as they often become bored and restless. Identifying an activity that a child can excel at will help them feel good about themselves, and praise should definitely be used when they make good choices and accomplish even small tasks.

Ways to hide socially: Electronic gadgets like an Xbox, smart phones and I-pad’s, often replace a BFF as children and adolescents  are able to express themselves without feeling ridiculed, and can avoid others having expectations of them which they may be not be able to meet. It is one of the few times they are able to work at their own pace; feeling a sense of accomplishment.

Additionally, as they enter into adolescence, many young adults with ADHD feel uncomfortable around groups of people as they are unsure how to interact, and have had negative experiences in trying to befriend others. Social media is fast becoming a place to find friends and acceptance as they are able to communicate in a format comfortable for them, and they do not feel pressure to conform to social norms.

What most people take for granted; being able to easily make friends, becomes a real chore for children with ADHD. These traits of social awkwardness, forgetfulness, disorganization and procrastination will follow them into adult relationships and may affect their performance on a job and interfere with their close relationships.

Suggestions: For parents of children with ADHD, it is important that children feel accepted and not made to feel inferior or compared to their siblings. It is particularly important to understand that they are only able to process 1 thing at a time, or they will feel overwhelmed and defeated. Parenting can be stressful as these children require a lot of patience, focused instruction, directions which may need to be repeated a few times, and the option of choices to help them feel a sense of control.

Close the Gap Socially: Look for a social skills summer camp or ADHD Summer Camp, or alternately meet with a professional counselor. The skills they acquire will help them learn how to interact with others and bridge the emotional gap they experience daily. Helping children with ADHD overcome these obstacles, will help them become more relateable to other children, and eventually help them experience the joy that a BFF can bring to their life.

Call our In person and Virtual Teen Counselors in Orlando for help now at 407-248-0030! We also have counselors located near Altamonte in Winter Park, East Orlando, Waterford Lakes at Avalon park, Lake Mary, Clermont, and Dr Philips Windermere. We also help with EMDR therapy for anxiety and trauma and treat ADHD often without medication and the News Media called us 200+ times for our mental health advice.

Watch Below for More Tips on ADHD

NOTE: Freely redistribute this resource, electronically or in print, provided you leave the authors, name, credentials, and contact information below intact and include a link to this article.

Author: Cathy Pinnock, M.S. a Registered Marriage and Family Therapy Intern at Total Life Counseling Center in Orlando, and parent of a child with ADHD.  Total Life Counseling Center specializes in ADHD and our experts can be reached at (407) 248-0030.

author avatar
Total Life Counseling
TLC provides therapy services for all ages in the Orlando Central Florida area and can handle almost any issue. At Total Life Counseling we focus on more than just the “Mind;" we focus on the “Total” person. Clients travel all over Florida, from the Bahamas and Georgia as TLC has worked with patients' and their prescriber' to reduce their need for medication. Since 2003 85% of our patients were stabilized with FDA approved supplements and dietary adjustments. Patients receive tremendous relief from their symptoms with less medication or in some cases without medication. Orlando teen and adolescent life workshops and teen camps. Our counselors have been interviewed by local and national News outlets including NBC, CBS, ABC, Fox and Radio!

Share This Story, Choose Your Platform!

Total Life Counseling Center consists of Licensed Counselors, masters level therapists, Español counselors, Licensed Mental Health Counselors, business coaches, and image enhancement coaches who provide counseling for emotional, mental, physical and spiritual care including marriage, individual, family, substance abuse and more. TLC’s family, trauma and marriage experts have been interviewed on National and Local TV/Radio over 200 times for their expert advice on Fox News, OWN, WETV, ABC’s Medical Minute and more. Our skilled counselors are relational, approachable and specialists providing therapy services in the Central Florida area including: OrlandoWinter ParkMetroWest, Windermere, Dr. Phillips, East OrlandoLake Mary, and Clermont, Boca Raton Florida, and Dallas, TX.

About the Author: Total Life Counseling

TLC provides therapy services for all ages in the Orlando Central Florida area and can handle almost any issue. At Total Life Counseling we focus on more than just the “Mind;" we focus on the “Total” person. Clients travel all over Florida, from the Bahamas and Georgia as TLC has worked with patients' and their prescriber' to reduce their need for medication. Since 2003 85% of our patients were stabilized with FDA approved supplements and dietary adjustments. Patients receive tremendous relief from their symptoms with less medication or in some cases without medication. Orlando teen and adolescent life workshops and teen camps. Our counselors have been interviewed by local and national News outlets including NBC, CBS, ABC, Fox and Radio!

3 Comments

  1. Kris at Social Village July 19, 2015 at 4:14 pm

    Great suggestions Cathy, I agree with you that joining social groups will really help a child find relief and perhaps learn some great skills. How can children with ADHD be more open to trying social groups. Getting the child to the first session is a big hurdle.

  2. Debra April 30, 2023 at 10:56 pm

    Does any of your locations provide a platform for social groups teen into young adult groups

  3. Jim West May 24, 2023 at 4:43 pm

    We had to shut down our Social Skills Groups due to COVID and since we have had challenges restarting. During COVID we did Social Coaching and saw students report going from no friends, to friends wanting to hangout and then friends calling to hang out! Here’s the link for Social Skills Coaching Services – https://www.totallifecounseling.com/services-therapy-orlando-florida-clermont-east-southwest-therapy-therapists-counselors/social-skills-services/social-skills-coaching/

Leave A Comment

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

author avatar
Total Life Counseling
TLC provides therapy services for all ages in the Orlando Central Florida area and can handle almost any issue. At Total Life Counseling we focus on more than just the “Mind;" we focus on the “Total” person. Clients travel all over Florida, from the Bahamas and Georgia as TLC has worked with patients' and their prescriber' to reduce their need for medication. Since 2003 85% of our patients were stabilized with FDA approved supplements and dietary adjustments. Patients receive tremendous relief from their symptoms with less medication or in some cases without medication. Orlando teen and adolescent life workshops and teen camps. Our counselors have been interviewed by local and national News outlets including NBC, CBS, ABC, Fox and Radio!