5 Tips For Long Distance Relationships | Marriage Counselor Therapist

Orlando Marriage Counselor Therapist

Are you stressed about your long distance relationship?Are you ready to break-up? Long distance relationships are becoming a fact of life. As we advance in technology in the new world of social media with facebook and myspace, relationships are also changing.You are in a business trip and you meet someone at the airport, or you are using an online dating program, you find a potential mate, and you decide to pursue a relationship with that person.According to a recent research, long distance relationships are more stable than we think.It was found that long distance relationships are characterized by commitment, which is influenced by satisfaction and happiness with the relationship (Pistole, Roberts & Mosko, 2010).However, after a while it can be tiring and overwhelming trying to be in a long distance relationship, especially when you have family and friends telling you that long distance relationships do not work. Couples end up focusing on the frustrations of the distance and forget the reasons why they got together in the first place.Before you “call it quits”, here are some tips to making your long distance relationship work:

1. Describe to your partner what the relationship means to you.This is the first step in moving forward with your relationship.Defining the relationship will help you create boundaries that will be used when things get diff
   icult.Ask yourself, “Should we be just friends? Can we have a solid relationship?”
2. Be truthful to yourself and your partner.Be honest about your needs and don’t be afraid of sharing your feelings.Communication is going to be to most important element in your long-distance relationship and it will help create the strong foundation necessary to make the relationship work.
3. Be patient.Sometimes the “waiting” can create anxiety for both partners leading to arguments.Keep yourself busy with your career, exercising, get involved volunteering in your community, or think about going back to school.
4. Create a routine.Since you don’t get to see each other everyday, it’s important to create a routine where you both share things that are happening in your daily lives.Schedule daily phone calls, talk about TV shows that you both can watch together, and send emails or text messages during the day encouraging each other.
5. Make plans for the future.Planning for the future includes not only scheduling a vacation together but setting goals for the future such as moving closer to each other to experience the each person in their normal day to day routine before getting married.This can be difficult for couples since they have family and friends giving opinions about the relationship.

Most of us have a negative perception of long distance relationships because we see couples in the entertainment industry breaking up on the news every day, however, we are not accurately informed. Couples who are in, contemplating, transitioning to, or transitioning from a long distance relationship would benefit from seeing a couples’ counselor who would be able to help them clarify what the relationship represents, each partners’ investments in the relationship and the positive and negative consequences of their investments.

Pistole, M., Roberts, A., & Mosko, J. (2010).Commitment Predictors: Long-Distance Versus Geographically Close Relationships.Journal of Counseling & Development, 88-2, 146-153.2010 American Counseling Association.

Murphy, F. (2009). Making Your Long-Distance Relationship Work.Health Discovery.com

NOTE: You can freely redistribute this resource, electronically or in print, provided you leave the authors contact information intact.

Jim West

Adolescent Expert, Jim West offers expert advice to Local and National TV News & Schools Internationally and provides phone or face-to-face counseling in the Orlando area. Jim is an Author, Communicator, School Consultant, Nationally Certified and State Licensed Counselor and specializes in counseling for Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder (ADD/ADHD) and Oppositional Defiance Disorder (ODD). Jim has been interviewed for multiple TV, Radio, magazine and newspaper articles. He is president of Total Life Counseling Center and his Total Life approach accelerates the therapeutic & healing process by relating to children, adolescents and adults and incorporating wellness. Jim’s clients travel from all over Florida, England, Georgia, Cayman Islands and the Bahamas as he has been able to treat clients with ADHD, Anxiety, Mood Disorders, Depression and more with FDA approved supplements and Dietary Modifications. 85% of his clients have not needed medication or used less medication than when they first came to Total Life Counseling Center.

See Full Bio