Did you know that more than 23 percent of married Americans sleep alone according to the National Sleep Foundation? The reason that couples reported that they sleep separately was because of snoring, restless leg syndrome, pregnancy, and different work schedules, but is it a good idea? According to the National Association of Home Builders, there’s been a steady increase in the number of requests for “two-master bedroom” homes since 1990, prompting the organization to predict that by 2015, 60 percent of all custom upscale homes will be built with two “owner suites.”
Below are three things you should consider if you and your spouse have separate rooms:
1. IS THIS BRINGING US CLOSER TOGETHER OR FARTHER APART? Couples need to consider if medical conditions are keeping them from snuggling at night, many of the cited medical reasons can be successfully treated. If couples continue to sleep apart and do not address the reasons behind it, it can spell trouble for the marriage. Sleeping together is a very important part of being integrated together.
2. IS THERE A LACK OF PASSION AS A RESULT? If the couple determines that sleeping apart is what is best for the relationship, it is very important that there is continual building of emotional and physical intimacy. It is recommended that couples schedule time to just talk and stay updated on each other’s lives, especially on what the other is feeling. The couple can have fun with scheduling “physical appointments” with each other.
3. WERE THERE OTHER UNDERLYING PROBLEMS IN THE MARRIAGE BEFORE THE TOPIC OF SLEEPING APART CAME UP? Some couples may have some unresolved challenges in the relationship and sleeping apart can be an excuse for one partner to leave the bedroom for some other reason given. Couples need to deal with any issues before one leaves the bedroom, whether they are already sleeping separately or planning on doing so. There are a number of legitimate reasons for couples deciding to sleep separately. Couples want to be cautious and be aware of the physical separation not causing emotional or intimate separation. Couples want to be intentional about addressing their concerns and feelings including finding a way to stay connected in the same bedroom or at least avoid becoming distant if they decide to sleep separately.
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Author: Janie Lacy