Oppositional Defiance Disorder

You are here://Oppositional Defiance Disorder
Oppositional Defiance Disorder 2017-09-08T20:46:54+00:00

Oppositional Defiant Children & Teen Counseling & Therapy Services in Orlando, East Orlando, Lake Mary, Winter Park & Clermont Florida FL

If this Describes your Student then your child or student may have Oppositional Defiance Disorder!

    1. Losing one’s temper
    2. Arguing with adults
    3. Actively defying requests
    4. Refusing to follow rules
    5. Deliberately annoying other people
    6. Blaming others for one’s own mistakes or misbehavior
    7. Being touchy, easily annoyed
    8. Being easily angered, resentful, spiteful, or vindictive.
    9. Speaking harshly, or unkind when upset
    10. Seeking revenge
    11. Having frequent temper tantrums

What Topics are Covered in Counseling for Oppositional Defiance Disorder?

  1. History of Adolescence
  2. Parenting Style
  3. Parents on Different pages breeds Oppositional Defiance Disorder (ODD)
  4. Symptoms of Oppositional Defiance Disorder
  5. Oppositional No No’s and Triggers
  6. What untreated ODD can lead too
  7. Quick Tips to Handle the ODD Student
  8. Making Commands Effective
  9. Motivators – Rewards and Consequences
  10. Managing Students in Public
  11. Effective Communication
  12. Problem Solving
  13. Diffusing the Angry Oppositional Student
  14. 3 Step Positive Conflict Resolution Plan
  15. Repairing strained relationships between the student and parent

Total Life In The News

Total Life Counseling ODD Experts Have Been Featured On Multiple TV Networks and News Stations:

As Seen on TV: Network Logos for NBC, CBS, Fox News, ABC News, and The Daily Buzz

Our subject matter experts have participated in over 150 national & local news interviews and they are here for you!

At Total Life Counseling Center our Counselors are Experts for National and Local TV, Radio and Print Media. We have an excellent reputation amongst graduate & private schools, attorneys, doctors, therapists, providers and corporations.  We strive to ensure our therapists have diverse clinical backgrounds, to allow us to match each client to the therapist that will best meet his or her needs.

Meet Our Counselors
Explore News Interviews & Tips

Call for a Complimentary 15 Minute Phone Consultation

Se Habla Español: We have Portuguese and Spanish speaking counselors as well.

(407) 248-0030

Jim West

Jim L. West, MA, LMHC specializes in Oppositional Defiance Disorder

Jim West is a dynamic, humorous speaker with simple solutions for seemingly complex issues! Jim is asked for advice internationally by local and national radio/tv media, private and public schools, teachers conferences, administrators, parent teacher organizations and more on many topics including Defiance, Bullying, ADHD, Defusing Challenging Angry Parents, Alternatives to Medication for Mental Health Issues, and much more.

Jim West, MA, LMHC, NCC is a nationally certified and state licensed counselor and specializes in ADHD and Oppositional Defiance. His positive approach to ADHD is refreshing and helps parents, and teachers get in the head of their students and truly empathize with their attention issues.

Orlando, Lake Mary and Clermont Counselors Therapists Videos in the News!

Our Oppositional Defiance Expert in the News!

FOX 35 Interviews Child Adolescent Expert Jim West
FOX 35 Interviews our Child Adolescent Expert Jim West
Preview Segment of Jim West Oppositional Defiance dvd
PREVIEW: Solutions for Oppositional Defiant Students
National TD Jakes Show asks ODD Expert Jim West for Parent Defiant Teens Video Tips
Parent Teacher Video Tips | Defiant Child Teens Triggers to Avoid | ODD Defiance Disorder
3 Parenting Video Tips | ODD Oppositional Defiant Child Counselor | Orlando Therapist
Parenting Solutions Video | ODD Oppositional Defiant Angry Child Teen | Orlando Counselor


A Few Kind Words From Satisfied Clients of Defiant Teens or Children

“We are so grateful for your help. We were in a bad place before we saw you and I am really amazed at the difference.”



“So glad you duked it out with us. You always gave way above and beyond what I think most in your field would have. And I don’t think anyone else could have reached our teenage son as you did. Thanks from the bottom of my heart.”


Parent & Teacher

“Jim, thank you again for giving so much of your time on Friday. The feedback I got from everyone that attended was extremely positive. I also gave a copy of your DVD to one of our teachers. Your help will make an enormous difference for Daniel both at home and at school.”


“We were so thankful to Total Life Counseling. Over the past five years, we had seen five other counselors/psychologists with our son, but in the last 1 1/2 years our son gained skills to cope. The ADHD/Social Skills group helped our son realize that he was not alone. The parenting skills group helped us know how to anticipate problems and equipped us to handle them. Thank you Jim and Total Life Counseling – you are an answer to prayer.”

Tim & Janet


View More Testimonials
Request an Appointment

Call For a Complimentary 15 Minute Phone Consultation

We take the guesswork out of finding the right counselor. Our counselors are subject matter specialists and we link you to the therapist that best fits your concerns.  Get started today with a complimentary 15 minute consult:

(407) 248-0030


Simple Solutions Video Program for Students with Oppositional Defiance Disorder

Everyone knows parents struggling with Oppositional Children or Teens! 95% of students respond to our innate leadership, discipline structures and teaching abilities but Oppositional students are in the other 5%.

This Power Point file is helpful for presentation, and printing handouts or use the handouts to follow along on the Solutions for Oppositional Defiance Video or Audio.

“Avoidable Mistakes Parents Make with Oppositional Students”

Say No Less, Yell Less & Have Your Student do what they need to do!

Does this story sound familiar?

“If you say that one more time I am going to slap you” and as this mother was telling me the story, I immediately knew the outcome as she recalls the story over the weekend in a restaurant. Whenever a threat is made between a parent and Oppositional student it’s like issuing a challenge and the one with the most energy wins. The student wins in their own mind if they can provoke the parent to jump into the ring with them. In a period of temporary insanity, the student will hunker down and go for the jugular in an attempt to win emotionally and the parent will pull rank by adding more restrictions and consequences. An emotional win for the student is when they can get the parent to a point of temporary insanity.

Parent: “Okay you have one week, do you want to go for two.”

Student: “Fine I don’t care if you ground me for a month.”

Parent: “You got it!”

Now here is a great example of temporary insanity; there is a student grounded in the house with the parent for a month. So who really has the greatest punishment . . . the parent! The situation gets worse when the parents realize they were temporarily insane when they made this consequence and may give in and reduce the sentence to 1 week or 2 weeks. The student will also continue annoy and pester the parent and wear them down emotionally during this time to get a reduced sentence. So when the parent reduces the time, in the mind of the student they “win again” as they were able to get the sentence reduced.

By the way, Temporary Insanity is typically reached when we become so angry that emotion drives our conversation and thoughts and we can not think logically. Typically when someone is Angry or Temporarily Insane it is a great idea to allow each other to walk away and revisit the conflict when both parties have had time to cool down and think about their part in the conflict.

Other examples of Temporary Insanity or Oppositional No No’s are statements that we may not be able to enforce:

Parent: “Don’t even think about it,” “You will do it,” “You will not do it,” or “Put it away Now!”

According to Russell Barkely, M.D., a leading expert on Oppositional Defiance Disorder (ODD), it’s not a genetic disorder. ODD is often a product of parents that are on opposite sides of the page. For instance, a passive parent and authoritarian parent that do not agree on discipline and the student will put a strain on the marriage and household by playing the parents against each other. Another parent scenario that encourages ODD behavior is an absent or uninvolved parent and authoritarian parent. Some parents will avoid the conflict and disengage again giving a message to the student they have won emotionally by wearing a parent down. Then the student thinks they are in control.

Treating ODD involves getting the parents in the same room and educating them so the parents can be on the same page. ODD student need to feel like they have choices and parents need to learn how to phrase questions that give the illusion of choices, but both choices need to have the same outcome. Parents will need to brace themselves as well as when they do get on the same page and start changing how they respond to the student as a united front, things will get better before they get worse. It’s important
during this time to weather through the storm because it will get better if the students realize the parents are working together.

Also, it is very important to be calm and give the student choices but with the same outcome for the parent. For example here’s a student right before school that is watching TV before and he is not supposed to watch TV in the morning and will lose points toward afternoon privileges if his mother catches him watching TV. He also loves to eat breakfast:

Parent: “It’s time for breakfast so what do you need to do?”

Student: “I I hate Breakfast!” (he’s temporarily insane because he is caught and knows it will effect his afternoon privileges)

Parent: in a calm voice validates the students feelings “Wow I can see your frustrated” (notice he is temporarily insane and the mother learns not to address the non-compliance of watching TV as he would just escalate more. She will deal with this when he cools down and is able to process logic)

Student: “Yeah and I don’t want to eat breakfast”

Parent: calm voice empathizes to hear the students emotions “I can see why you are frustrated because you love watching that program!”

Student: “I do like this program and I never get to watch it!”

Parent: calm voice avoids telling the student why he/she can not watch TV in the morning as they can never get ready on time “Well we have two choices . . . You can turn the TV off and have breakfast before we go to school or I can turn the TV off for you and I can turn off the TV and you can go to school without breakfast. I will give you 5 minutes to decide.”

Now before I tell you what happened in this scenario, I had worked with the parent for a few weeks until she finally made the paradigm shift. For years, she would have jumped into the insanity with the child and duked it out verbally, but I was so proud of her because within 3 minutes he had turned the TV off and was eating breakfast. He had choices both with the same outcome “TV off” (which was the major stressor and barrier to getting him to school on time) and when given choices in a calm voice and time to think he can cool down emotionally. Once cool emotionally he can think logically and make a good choice. On his way home from school that same day his mother
“used questions to lead him to the solution.”

Parent: “what is the rule about TV in the morning?”

Student: “I lose privilege points for watching TV in the morning.”

Parent: she affirmed him as if he had already complied “That’s right or Good
Answer” “So what are your choices this afternoon.”

Student: “I can do a chore for you to earn back the privilege points or just
lose some of the privilege time.”

Parent: parent will feel with the child rather than talk down to the child “yes and I am sorry this happened. I will give you some time to decide what you want to do and I hope you do earn the time back because I know how much you like your privileges.”

Another No No of Oppositional Defiance believe it or not is to say “No”. “No” is another trigger and the goal is to avoid it as much as possible. Try to establish the rules and have the student repeat the rules. Then whenever a rule is broken or they want to push the limits, instead of telling the student they broke the rule you ask them a question leading them to the solution.

For example:

Student: “Can I have more computer time”

Parent: Empathize “I know how much you love your computer time, but what time is computer time over.”

Student: “8pm”

Parent: “and what time is it?”

Student: “8 o’clock”

Parent: Affirm them as if they have already complied, “that’s right so what do you need to do”

Student: “Turn off the computer.”

Parent: Affirm them and add a positive comment about them as a person “Right again and I am so proud of you for following the rules.”

Student: “I don’t want to”

Parent: “You know your choices . . . You can turn it off and keep the privilege for tomorrow or I can turn it off and you will lose the privilege tomorrow . . . I will give you 3 minutes to think about it.”

Speak To An Expert About Oppositional Defiance Disorder – (407) 248-0030

Total Life Blog

OCD & Anxiety Tips From our TLC Therapists

Get Ready For Orlando Summer Social Skills Camps for ADHD and ASD!

March 13th, 2019|0 Comments

Orlando Bully Therapist Message to Parents of Bullies | 3 Tips for parents to stop their child’s bullying

July 28th, 2018|Comments Off on Orlando Bully Therapist Message to Parents of Bullies | 3 Tips for parents to stop their child’s bullying

High School Transition Tips – Hold On Parents | Orlando Teen Counselor Therapist

July 16th, 2018|1 Comment

4 Reasons Babies Bully & What to Do | Orlando Bully Counselor Expert

April 15th, 2018|0 Comments

More Articles & Tips
Jim West surrounded by StressLess Educational Series logo , product images and As Seen on TV logo

Struggling with ADHD, ASD or Defiance?

It’s Time to Stress Less!

StressLess Products