Orlando Marriage Counselor | Tips If you could Read her Mind

By Published On: February 4th, 20203.7 min read

Orlando marriage counselor offers tips on relationships!  “I shouldn’t have to say anything! If you love me you should spend more time getting to know me and you should know how I feel.” Sound familiar? Often a woman believes that if a man loves her, he should intuitively understand what she is thinking or feeling. This may come as a shock to some women but men are not mind readers.

More Videos on this topic 

[tubepress playerLocation=”popup” mode=”tag” tagValue=”Total Life Counseling self women” paginationAbove=”true” paginationBelow=”false” orderBy=”published” resultsPerPage=”4″ thumbHeight=”105″ thumbWidth=”135″ ]

Couple Scenario:

Julie and John are a couple. Julie is excited and putting a lot of time and effort into practicing for her part in a play. She is excited about John coming and supporting her at the performance. However, Julie assumes he knows how important this is to her as he has observed her practicing for the play. John is not really into plays or shows, but would go if he knew how important it was to Julie.

Actual thought process:

Julie is backstage getting her makeup and costume on and knows at any minute John will come backstage to wish her well and tell her the performance will be great because she is a part of show. Julie puts him on the backstage list and asks if he has tried to come backstage. During the performance she is looking through the curtain to see where he might be in the crowd. She does not see him at all and after the performance she looks for his car in the parking lot, but John is no where to be found.

Julie rushes home and there’s John watching TV. She asks him why he did not say hi to her backstage or even greet her after the performance.

John is caught off guard and not sure how to respond, “you did not tell me you wanted me to go so I went car shopping. Besides you know I do not like plays.”

Julie is hurt, offended and mad and instead of responding to John she gives him the silent treatment.

John wonders if Julie is mad about something and assumes that she is either in a bad mood or that something went wrong during the play.

Julie thinks to herself, “You knew how much that play meant to me, if you cared about me you would have come and cheered me on!”

Actual conversation:

John: “Are you mad about something? Did the play go well?”

Julie: “What do you care, all you care about is your stupid car!”

John: “It’s not a stupid car, and what does my car have to do with anything….”

In this example, Julie assumed John knew that the play was important to her and that she would like him to be there to support her. However, she never shared that need with him. If John had known that Julie wanted him to be there, he probably would have attended the play. Wives reading this blog or seasoned husbands are cringing for John and Julie and might be thinking this situation is a no brainer and John should have known better, but there are many other situations that are less obvious.

Julie could learn to communicate her desire for John to be at her performance and John could learn to ask for clarification if he is unsure of her expectations. Once they understand the desires and expectations of the other partner, the behavior of becoming mad, sullen, and defensive would be lessened.

Of course, there are even more issues that could be addressed in this scenario. The basic message of Cognitive Behavioral Couple Therapy is that behavior follows understanding, and inaccurate understanding which may lead to inappropriate behavior.

Communication skills that can be learned are: skills for sharing thoughts and emotions, and skills for listening to your partner.

Are you having trouble communicating with your spouse, boyfriend or girlfriend? Does this couple sound like your relationship? If so please call a marriage counselor for couples therapy.  Additional information on counseling resources is available from The Total Life Counseling Center (407-248-0030)

For helpful resources to save time by solving other marital/couple challenges visit:

https://www.totallifecounseling.com
http://www.Family.org
http://www.familylife.com
http://www.newlife.com

NOTE: you can freely redistribute this resource, electronically or in print, provided you leave the authors contact information below intact.

Author: Linda Hartman

author avatar
Jim West
Adolescent Expert, Jim West offers expert advice to Local and National TV News & Schools Internationally and provides phone or face-to-face counseling in the Orlando area. Jim is an Author, Communicator, School Consultant, Nationally Certified and State Licensed Counselor and specializes in counseling for Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder (ADD/ADHD) and Oppositional Defiance Disorder (ODD). Jim has been interviewed for multiple TV, Radio, magazine and newspaper articles. He is president of Total Life Counseling Center and his Total Life approach accelerates the therapeutic & healing process by relating to children, adolescents and adults and incorporating wellness. Jim’s clients travel from all over Florida, England, Georgia, Cayman Islands and the Bahamas as he has been able to treat clients with ADHD, Anxiety, Mood Disorders, Depression and more with FDA approved supplements and Dietary Modifications. 85% of his clients have not needed medication or used less medication than when they first came to Total Life Counseling Center.

Share This Story, Choose Your Platform!

Total Life Counseling Center consists of Licensed Counselors, masters level therapists, Español counselors, Licensed Mental Health Counselors, business coaches, and image enhancement coaches who provide counseling for emotional, mental, physical and spiritual care including marriage, individual, family, substance abuse and more. TLC’s family, trauma and marriage experts have been interviewed on National and Local TV/Radio over 200 times for their expert advice on Fox News, OWN, WETV, ABC’s Medical Minute and more. Our skilled counselors are relational, approachable and specialists providing therapy services in the Central Florida area including: OrlandoWinter ParkMetroWest, Windermere, Dr. Phillips, East OrlandoLake Mary, and Clermont, Boca Raton Florida, and Dallas, TX.

About the Author: Jim West

Adolescent Expert, Jim West offers expert advice to Local and National TV News & Schools Internationally and provides phone or face-to-face counseling in the Orlando area. Jim is an Author, Communicator, School Consultant, Nationally Certified and State Licensed Counselor and specializes in counseling for Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder (ADD/ADHD) and Oppositional Defiance Disorder (ODD). Jim has been interviewed for multiple TV, Radio, magazine and newspaper articles. He is president of Total Life Counseling Center and his Total Life approach accelerates the therapeutic & healing process by relating to children, adolescents and adults and incorporating wellness. Jim’s clients travel from all over Florida, England, Georgia, Cayman Islands and the Bahamas as he has been able to treat clients with ADHD, Anxiety, Mood Disorders, Depression and more with FDA approved supplements and Dietary Modifications. 85% of his clients have not needed medication or used less medication than when they first came to Total Life Counseling Center.

Leave A Comment

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

author avatar
Jim West
Adolescent Expert, Jim West offers expert advice to Local and National TV News & Schools Internationally and provides phone or face-to-face counseling in the Orlando area. Jim is an Author, Communicator, School Consultant, Nationally Certified and State Licensed Counselor and specializes in counseling for Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder (ADD/ADHD) and Oppositional Defiance Disorder (ODD). Jim has been interviewed for multiple TV, Radio, magazine and newspaper articles. He is president of Total Life Counseling Center and his Total Life approach accelerates the therapeutic & healing process by relating to children, adolescents and adults and incorporating wellness. Jim’s clients travel from all over Florida, England, Georgia, Cayman Islands and the Bahamas as he has been able to treat clients with ADHD, Anxiety, Mood Disorders, Depression and more with FDA approved supplements and Dietary Modifications. 85% of his clients have not needed medication or used less medication than when they first came to Total Life Counseling Center.