Orlando Relationship Counselor answers 3 Questions about Married Men and Their Mistresses

What do Steve McNair, Mark Stanford and John Edwards have in common? You guessed it! They all had a mistress. Below you will find the three most common questions that people ask about married men and their mistress.

1 – Why do women find themselves in relationships with married men?

The work place is the #1 place that men meet their mistress. What this means is that most start off as friends, business acquaintances, etc. However, there are some that start off mutually attracted to each other and working together feeds into those feelings. The highs of loving someone you can never see enough is addictive to some people.

Most people’s deepest desire is to be in a committed relationship where they can just be themselves and entering into a relationship that is based on fantasy will not get you there. In most cases it is the circumstances of that situation that is more important than the actual person.

2 – What do men and women, who might presently be carrying on a flirtation with a married individual, need to know if they are considering taking it to the next level?

If you or someone you know is considering taking things to the next level, you need to know that this is the quickest way to end up with feelings of being hurt, confused, and alone.

How likely is it that the married individual will leave their spouse for their mistress?

Statistically only 3% of married men marry their affair partners and 3% of those actually work (Bercht, 2005).

3 – In the recent case of Steve McNair and his mistress, the mistress was emotionally unstable. What are some specific warning signs or behaviors that people should watch out for in their romantic relationships?

The most common, specific warning sign or behavior that may tell you that you need to be cautious is the partner tries to control elements of your life. This can be done in a passive aggressive manner. Do they make you feel guilty? Do they make you feel fearful? When you make decisions out of fear or guilt, it usually is not the healthiest choice.

Does any of this describe what you or someone you know may be going through now? Do you feel alone? Are you asking yourself what you should do next? You don’t have to stay stuck so pick up your phone and call us today at 407-248-0030. We are awaiting your call.


Bercht, A. My Husband’s Affair Became the Best Thing That Happened to Me. Trafford Publishing (July 6, 2006).

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Author: Janie Lacy