5 Tips to Combat Domestic Violence in Relationships: | Partner Abuse | Therapist

Women in Abusive Relationships

Forms of Intimate Partner Abuse and Ways to Protect Against It

People often wonder why women stay in abusive relationships. The common question to ask is, why do they not just leave the abusive partner? The question is not that simple to answer.

Challenges women face multiple challenges in leaving an abusive relationship:

1. 1. Including financial dependency
   2. Lack of education
   3. Lack of job or life skills
   4. The threat of further violence or even death.

Biological and anatomical differences between women and men lead to differences in personality and may feed the sociocultural leaning towards patriarchy and sexism. Violence against women is a major public health concern that stems from the historical view that women constitute the lesser and weaker sex. Men are generally physically stronger than women and have a more powerful drive to use aggression when threatened or in the interest of survival. Of course, men can and do also experience domestic violence, but most victims are women.

1 out of 3 women have experienced:

1. Rape
2. Physical violence, and/or
3. Stalking by an intimate partner in their lifetime. This number does not even include other non-physical or sexual types of abuse.

5 forms of abuse in an intimate partner relationship:

1. 1. Physical abuse may involve beating, throwing items at the woman, or even driving recklessly to scare or intimidate her.
   2. Psychological abuse may look like threatening to attempt suicide if the woman does not do her partner’s wishes, or making threats or hurting the woman’s children.
   3. Sexual assault involves any sexual act between the partners where the woman does not give her consent.
   4. Emotional abuse could include putting the woman down through name-calling or discouragement.
   5. Economical abuse is a way to control and have power over a female partner through making all the financial decisions and limiting the woman’s access to the couple’s finances and bank account.

Women who have suffered domestic violence will often blame themselves for the abuse. Or, they will see it as their duty to “save” their partner. Women who are domestic violence victims tend to have low self-esteem and may develop dependence on their partner, both emotionally and economically.  Here are some steps women can take to protect themselves from abuse by romantic partners:

5 how to tips to combat domestic violence in intimate relationships:

1. Self-esteem and self-assertion building: Developing higher self-esteem and a stronger self-concept is essential to empowering the woman to realize she deserves to feel safe, loved, and respected in her romantic partnerships. She needs to foster an internal sense of self-worth that is not dependent on the approval, attention, or presence of her partner.
2. Boundary-setting: Women are relationship-focused and often put other people’s needs above their own. It is helpful for them to practice setting boundaries to take care of themselves so that they can in turn take care of others. One important way to do this is by letting others, especially their partner, know what their needs are and what makes them comfortable or uncomfortable.
3. Psycho-education about domestic violence: Many women do not realize they are experiencing domestic violence until they learn what it is and can look like. Often, they do not suspect that abuse is not necessarily always physical. Learning about different kinds of abuse and its effects on the person being abused can start women on the path to freeing themselves from the abusive situation.
4. Groups to build healthy social supports: People are social beings and benefit from sharing their experiences with others who have been through similar situations. It is important for women to know that they are not alone in their struggles. Joining a group with other women who have experienced domestic violence can lead to healing and valuable support.
5. Resource-sharing to help the woman leave an abusive relationship, if that is her goal: There is help out there for women in these circumstances. There are shelters, community agencies, and victims’ services centers that can provide support for women who choose to leave the relationship.

If the woman does decide to leave the relationship and achieves this, she will need help to gain more independence, including financial independence, and may need some tools to ensure she stays safe, as leaving is sometimes the most dangerous action a woman in an abusive relationship can take.

Help is out there! If you or a loved one has a concern related to domestic violence or any type of abusive relationship, seek assistance from a counselor.

Grieger, I. (2017). Women in intimate relationships: Theory, research, and implications for practice. In M. Kopala & M. Keitel (Eds.). Handbook of Counseling Women, 2^nd ed, p. 352-368. Thousand Oaks, CA: SAGE Publications, Inc.

Kolander, C., Ballard, D., & Chandler, C. (2013). Contemporary women’s health: Issues for today and the future, 5th ed. St. Louis: McGraw-Hill. Chapter 7, p. 182-187

Author: Isabel Tanco, M.S. is a National Certified Counselor with Total Life Counseling Center – Dallas, Texas.

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Jada Jackson

National TV Host of Emotional Mojo | Jada Jackson, MS, LMHC, Licensed Mental Health Counselor, is called by national TV News outlets and organizations to speak on a variety of topics effecting today's youth, young adults and couples. Jada is an Author, International Communicator, providing Counseling to Couples, Families, and Individuals. She is also a Self-Esteem Coach and Image Enhancement Specialist for Students, Models, and Professionals. As an international model and Commentator with Ebony Fashion Fair she quickly realized the effects of the modeling industry, not only on society, but also the self-image issues of models worldwide. Her experiences lead her to author Be-You-tiful to share her journey on obtaining her healthy self-image to help men and women find their true identity. Societies pressures on Body Image effects people in many different ways: depression, anxiety, self esteem, cutting, eating disorders, sexual promiscuity, teen pregnancy, substance abuse, relationship issues and more. Jada shares her experience, international success and passion to guide others into meaningful and purposeful living, Read more information on Jada Jackson on this site.

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