Lake Mary Counselor offers 5 mental health resolutions you can keep. It’s January 2015, a year of new beginnings and if you are like most people you may have made a New Year’s Resolution. 45% of American’s do so according to a study by the University of Scranton published in the Journal of Clinical Psychology in January 2014. The most common resolutions made are to lose weight, work out more, reduce debt, quit smoking, or improve one’s relationships. Sadly only 8% of Americans achieve these resolutions with 35% breaking them by the end of January.
Instead of focusing on resolutions that end up being unattainable try thinking about your Mental Health and how you would like to think, act and feel differently this year. The following Mental Health Resolutions are easy to attain and come with no pressure or guilt:
- Tell Yourself the Truth. You will never be a size 2, have a spotless home, or have children that are always well behaved. Accepting the unrealistic is a big first step to being real with yourself and what you are capable of. From there more realistic goals can be set.
- Speak Positively About Yourself and to Yourself. We are often our own worst critic and put too many guilt trips on ourselves. Instead of thinking about the things you felt you’ve screwed up today, mindfully list your accomplishments, progress, and bask in the positive words others may have said to you. Words like, “I am worthy of love, “I am a good mom,” help to build you up even when you find yourself yelling at your kids. Positive words help to keep you focused on your heart, your soul, your intentions and not your mistakes.
- Give Yourself Some Grace. When you forget to bake cupcakes for your son’s class party and get store bought ones give yourself some grace. When you forget to buy your wife a birthday card because your boss has been on your back all day give yourself some grace. Your time and energy is precious and when you are distracted or drained of energy, berating yourself only makes it worse. Hopefully your loved ones understand that as well and can impart to you a measure of grace.
- Stop Trying to Change Others. People often times get into relationships because they feel they can change the other person: “I can make him stop drinking,” or, “If he is with me he will be faithful and won’t need to run around.” People change and adapt only if they want to. The only person you can change is yourself beyond that it is important to accept people for who they are.
- Let Go of Toxic Relationships. Toxic relationships come in all forms. It may be a friend, your mother-in-law. Perhaps even your co-worker or boyfriend. No matter. Toxic people all have several common characteristics: they are takers not givers, they drain your energy, they make you feel guilty, and they make you feel bad about yourself. Some relationships are easier to let go of than others but strive to be honest with yourself and them, be assertive and stand up for yourself, set boundaries and if the relationship is unsafe say goodbye to that person.
If you make one or more of these resolutions and find that they are more difficult than you first thought, counseling may help strengthen your ability to do so. Aim to make 2015 your best year yet for your mental and emotional well-being.
About the Author: Lyris Steuber, MS, LMFT is a Lake Mary Marriage Therapist & Individuals Counselor for Depression and Anxiety with Total Life Counseling Center. Total Life Counseling Center hires experts that specialize in children, teens, adults and can be reached for questions at (407) 248-0030.