Lake Mary Relationship Counselor gives 5 Ways to Beat the Valentine’s Blues!

So you didn’t get flowers, chocolate or a card today, what do you do? Ever feel like Valentines Day is “Single Awareness Month?” For many, Valentine’s Day can be a lonely day especially when everyone around you seems to be in love or hopefully in like with someone else. Maybe your spouse passed away, you’ve recently gone through a break-up, or you perhaps like someone but your feelings aren’t returned. There are many reasons why this holiday can be stressful. However, the grass is not necessarily greener on the other side. A survey of 2,000 people in the UK found the 35 percentage of single people want to be in relationships and 34 percentage of married people want to be single.

Many experience bouts of depression or anxiety during this holiday. Many singles tend to isolate, stay indoors, and stay away from people or public places where Valentine’s merchandise is plentiful. Having been single, married, divorced, and then married again I understand how hard it can be to get through this day.  It is important to not let this day depress you.

Here are 5 Ways to Beat the Valentine’s Blues

1. Validate Yourself on Valentine’s Day. Take stock of your strengths, what makes you special, what makes you a good person and a good prospect for a relationship. Write them down on sticky notes and put them in places that will give you encouragement.
2. Laugh a Lot. Redbox Bridesmaids, the Hangover or a favorite comedy. Sit back with your favorite snack and enjoy. Laughter produces endorphins the same hormones produced when one is in love.
3. Spend it with People Who Love You. It may not be your spouse, or ex-boyfriend but make plans with your girlfriends, relatives or co-workers to go out and have fun. Aim to stay away from telling each other your love sob stories and enjoy the moment of trying a new restaurant, enjoying a concert or riding the I Ferris wheel for the first time.
4. Reminisce about Loved Ones Lost. A friend recently lost his wife to cancer and he aimed this year to continue a Valentine tradition of having a black tie dinner at home with his children. Don’t be afraid to look at old videos or pictures of your loved one and if it was a break-up you experienced, don’t be afraid to remember the good times and credit yourself for the ability to love and receive love.
5. Buy Yourself Something Special. When I was first divorce, I remember missing flowers that my ex-husband used to often bring me until I realize that I could give myself the same joy of fresh flowers. I began buying myself fresh flowers weekly which brightened up by apartment and made me feel good. For you, it maybe chocolate from the specialty dessert shop or a new designer perfume or wallet. Don’t’ be afraid to treat yourself to something special to help lift your mood.

Valentine’s Day is just a day, just one day each year when love is celebrated. Remember that if you are not in a loving romantic relationship, it is not a day to dread. Many only get romantic gestures on this day each year and then complain it’s not enough the rest of the year. However, you can love and be good to yourself every day not just on Valentine’s Day.

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Author: Lyris Steuber, MA, LMFT is a Lake Mary Marriage Therapist & Couples and Individual Counselor with Total Life Counseling Center. Total Life Counseling Center specializes in child teen self esteem, marriage and family therapy.  Our experts are interviewed often by the TV News for their expertise and can be reached at (407) 248-0030